Because I’ve got my ion you! These riddles, puns and one-liners are suitable for all ages, from kids to adults. And now we are going to the nucleus! Did you hear about the the research biologist who began his presentation at an international conference by saying, “This truth we hold as being self-evident: Life is a sexually transmitted disease.”. Well, a bit of fun is always good, especially if there are too much boring and cool scientific approaches. Here is a crop of the funniest jokes involving the "terrible lizards," better known as dinosaurs: Do you have a favorite science joke that WE haven't heard? They have just found the gene for shyness. 8. There are two types of people in the world. A: The nucleus. A physicist while exiting the theater after seeing the movie Star Wars bumped into a fellow physicist. Please make sure to ask an adult for permission before attempting any experiment, be safe and always … Have Fun! Everything works out when you’re cool. They always ended up with X equals 10. Or you may like to tease your friends about the genetics, which is pretty funny! DNA is a quite stable thing, so it is difficult to create new puns for it constantly; however, the classic is still fashionable and useful. Here we have the best science jokes for you to see that the intelligent people can and should laugh as much as it is possible. Knock Knock Who's There? They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes. What’s the difference between a mathematician and a forensic scientist? Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division. Adults can read this to explain to kids or little grown-up kids can use these teasers with friends to develop their knowledge in science. It described the universe before it was cool. A: Pull down its genes! There are, of course, the cases of a true talent revealing but these are the exceptions that just prove the rule. However, there is also a great number of pretty clear puns like these – we have found them for you to use in any group of people and get a lot of laugh. It rings a bell. “You mean a martini?” the bartender asks. I heard this joke at a physics conference in Les Arcs (I was at the top of a mountain skiing at the time, so it was quite … See more ideas about physics jokes, jokes, science jokes. Theoretical physicist No 1 pulls out a map and peruses it for a while. Why did the amoeba cross the road? Why did the bacteria fail the math test? Well, a bit of training – and the humor skills will be improved! The first one shoots about a meter too high; the second one, about a meter too low; the third one yells, “We got it!”. SOURCE. A: The only cleavage I want to see is at the cellular level. What’s wrong with a joke involving Cobalt, Radon, and Ytterium? ... A science teacher tells his class, “Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. The second tries, but his shot goes a foot too low. See Also: 70+ Funny Physics Jokes and Anectodes You Would Appreciate. Without a doubt, some jokes for adults always bring a smile to their lips in terms of a good mood. Otherwise I would have died without it." 31 of the most cringe-worthy science jokes. A duck flies by, and the first fires a shot, which goes a foot too high. Q: What’s the difference between an auto mechanic and a quantum mechanic? Unknown Fact: You can be cooled to -273.15C and be 0K. The Christmas is near, and even the scientists, who are tired with all those studies and hours spent in the laboratories, start talking about the rest and the holidays. Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs. It’s as easy as 01 10 11. Helium doesn't react. Stopwatch who? One can say that the admirers of this field tend to have grim humor, as they work actually with the death and its aftermaths. Now the people are witty and smart, what proves our evolution; it is stunningly good that the evolution touches the jokes too! How do Scientists freshen their breath? What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar? Me doing biochemistry: biochemistry, biochemiscry, biochemiswhy, biochemisby. Nevermind, I guess all my friends Argon. We do not want to offend the youth, but the adults have a bit more experience – statistically, thus they can speak about a greater number of the couple topics. Q. Just look at the facial expression of it! Periodic table gossip. Three statisticians go hunting for deer. Experiment or make a new creation! Why are conspiracy theories are like moon landings? Snicker, snicker. What runs faster, cold or hot? We could not imagine, what funny can be said about the bacteria, as they are too tiny and pitiful creatures to be laughed at (if forget about the fact we deal with them almost every second); but some persons could impress us with these wonderful science jokes! Periodically! When the astronomy department found out their famous professor was not going to get the Nobel prize this year, they decided to hold a party for him anyway and give him a constellation prize instead. Or perhaps an amusing anecdote from the lab that deserves a wider audience? Archimedes finds Newton first, of course, but Newton replies, “Nope. Will and Guy's Top Twenty Funny Science Jokes. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”. Q: What do you do with a sick chemist? It was discovered in 1773." If you were Anatomy, then I’d be Physiology because they always go together! Jokes about flatulence may be benign violation in its purest form—everyone does it, but it still causes a shock in a public setting. Do scientists who study the sun have a flare for research? A physicist told me I had a lot of potential… Then he pushed me off the roof. To say dirty things in a scientific language is amazingly cool. They’re hilarious! An interesting paradox: Noses run but feet smell. How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? Science jokes force listeners to use their noggins, and kids will inevitably have questions — about how black holes are formed, how tectonic plates shift, and what the heck tungsten is. Check out our list of funny science jokes for kids. “Are you sure?” asks the atom. Here are 90 science jokes and puns we think you’ll love. I can eat sugar with either hand… I’m ambidextrose. A: “Launch time.”. Some will make you think deep, some will make you giggle while some will make you laugh out loud. What do you do with a sick biochemist? They spot one off in the distance. His goal: transcend dental medication. One Newton on one square meter is equal to one Pascal." Why were the Romans so bad at algebra? They are saving the planet, the mankind, the biology, the animals’ world… Who is on duty today and can save the scientists and their sense of humor? Its CoRn Y. A science teacher tells his class, "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. “Whatever the missing mass of the universe is, I hope it’s not in cockroaches.” – a New York City tenant.How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Noble Gas who? Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who travelled in ten different countries and learned to speak six languages? One mouse to another: “Look at that fellow with a white coat on. “Whatever the missing mass of the universe is, I hope it’s not in cockroaches.” – a New York City tenant. Q: Why are Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements? Please be advised, these jokes condescending, evil, racist, mean, sick and so forth. Q: How do you make a hormone? He was released without charge. Can you imagine their faces when you crack some jokes – that scene will just prove that their brains are slightly… slow-working. 194 Clean, Corny and Cheesy Jokes for Kids and Adults of all ages << We have over 150 Categories of Jokes … You'll have to prove it. A: One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. The dogions! We did not know too; until the moment we have read these witties. All kinds of ways to open the door and all you want to do is joke around. I love puns, knock knock jokes, Christmas cracker jokes, lame jokes, roll your eyes jokes and witty one liners. I didn’t know that they were Catholic. "Do you see that mountain over there?" This is a warning for all those who don’t have the stomach for it, don’t read these jokes. The name’s Bond. They spot one off in the distance. And I especially love jokes about science. I’m reading a book on anti gravity. Every newcomer-comedian starts with the cheesy jokes. They named one Jessica and the other Control. These hilarious jokes will turn your frown upside down before you know it. Ahead, we've rounded up the funniest silly jokes everyone will love. You’re the one with all the dirty pictures.”. SOURCE. All the things call: “Make fun, make fun of me, immediately!”. A: Carbon. Boston Round Media, Polycarbonate, Narrow Mouth, 1000mL, Case/12. If you suppose that the new time should bring some fresh jokes – try using these ones! Do you like Science? An infectious disease walks into a bar. Organ donors really put their heart into it. How easy is it to count in binary? But dinosaurs have long been the focus of humor, including a bevy of jokes at the expense of these long-gone beasts, which roamed the earth millions of years ago. Well, these teases are really amusing and understandable even for those who are not connected with the sciences at all. You can impress your girlfriend or boyfriend with such teasing phrases and show your intelligence simultaneously. See more ideas about science jokes, science humor, humor. The first one shoots about a meter too high, the second one, about a meter too low, the third one yells, “We got it!”, A sign outside the chemistry hotel reads “Great Day Rates, Even Better NO3-‘s”. With Experi-Mints! Periodic Table Jokes Funny Birthday Cards for Male Cousins Funny Good Morning Memes Dirty Dancing Meme, Science Humor That Will Brighten Your Day, Cool Science Jokes (Some Are Sex Related). Coco-pebbles! Four. ##### Jokes Top #################################33 20 Geeky Memes That True Science Fans Will Understand (and Love!) But if your goal is … A recent finding by statisticians shows the average human has one breast and one testicle. What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder? Sep 29, 2013 - Explore Laura Tallo Photography LLC's board "Science Cat Jokes" on Pinterest. The agent asked a few preliminary questions, and then, suspecting foul play, requested to inspect the trunk of the car. It indicates the ability to send an email. Well, we wanted to help you understand what are the good jokes, and what are the silly ones – the next two belong to the second category. 0K who? Did you hear about the neutron who was arrested? At the very least, you'll crack a great big smile! Will I meet her at a party?” “No,” says his advisor, “in her biology class. How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb? Old chemistry teachers never die, they just fail to react. They prefer the phrase “action oriented.” What can be funny about the sun, moon, stars, and aliens? Where does the bad light ends up? If you really like the forensic science – welcome to the club! Otherwise I would have died without it.". I know where we are." Here You Have Tons Of Funny Jokes, Knock Knock Jokes, Dad, Corny and Yo Mama Jokes, Cheesy, Blonde and Clean Jokes, Dirty and Stupid Kids Jokes – You’re Invited to Laugh! As you seek out answers together, the joke only becomes funnier. The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.”  It replies, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”. The Earth is a bit bad with the puns, as it is no longer willing to joke with us. The third jumps up and shouts: “We got it!”. A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. These hilarious jokes are so silly that even the most serious people can't help but laugh at them. Q: What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? See more ideas about nerd jokes, jokes, science jokes. Do you remember that odd humor of your class teacher? Where did the lightning bolt propose to his girlfriend? A: Because they make up everything. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. In the modern world, we can rarely see the true nerds with totally no sense of humor. A: They make up everything! Nov 26, 2016 - Explore Social Science Insights's board "Social Science Jokes & Fun", followed by 185 people on Pinterest. The patient says: “A man and woman making love.” The psychoanalyst shows him a second inkblot, and the patient says: “That’s also a man and woman making love.” The psychoanalyst says: “You are obsessed with sex.” The patient says: “What do you mean I’m obsessed? A. So what do you do? Select the club mailing lists below. Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? When you die, you should have your brain donated to science. I might be a physics major, but I’m no Bohr in bed. A: I like your “style.”, An ion meets his atom friend on the street and says he’s lost an electron. The doctor tells a woman that she has only six months to live. One Newton on one square meter is equal to one Pascal.”. Do you know the name Pavlov? Q: What did the dog say to his owner? Timmy’s teacher asks the class, “What is the chemical formula for water?”. How often do I make chemistry-related jokes? (Optional) Sign-up to recieve weekly newsletters for your favorite comedy clubs. The scientists have no time for fun! What funny can happen in biochemical medium? Four. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled, “This is great! 'This scientific paper contains much that is new and much that is true. Q: Why did Werner Heisenberg detest driving cars? We hope that you will get a bit more than just laugh from your beloved person. Everything can happen in the laboratories, as these places were designed for the experiments, monitoring, and innovative technologies implementation. A: “My favorite frequency is 50,000 hertz but you’ve probably never heard of that.”, The wives of the American Society of Otolaryngologists have a cute saying: “The way to a man’s stomach is through his esophagus.”, An astronomy major had a part time job working in the university’s off-campus housing office. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement. These jokes and pics, inter alia, have the scientific humor. Why are men sexier than women? AJokeADay.com: Where It Pay$ To Be Funny! The scientific jokes often turn to be understandable only to those who relate to the sphere discussed. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement. Molecule 1: I’m positive. To say something with a laugh is still to say that – and to accentuate the problem you laugh at. I used to know a lot of science jokes, but now they argon. A large collection of short, funny, silly, corny and cheesy jokes that are clean and cute. Proved by the true nerds. SOURCE. Taken, not shared. Uranium-238 and plutonium-239 walk into a bar. New Products. Q: What did the conservative biologist say? That is why these ridicules settled the top places in the list of witty scientific jokes for today. What kind of fish is made of only two sodium atoms? Hot, because you can catch a cold! He said “stool”! Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. A mathematician thinks that two points are enough to define a straight line while a forensic scientist wants more data. Quick, Funny Jokes! CASH PRIZES to the Top 10 Jokes every week! Funny Science Jokes. We'll never post to Facebook without your permission We will access Facebook to get and use your email address, Molecule 1: I just lost an electron. I just read a book about Helium. How do you tell the difference between boys and girls? Best Science Jokes For Adults The relationship jokes can be understood by any age group (we mean those ages with the full awareness of the responsibility of any kind). Physicist’s favorite bumper sticker saying: “Absolute zero is cool!”, Three statisticians go duck hunting. Anonymous ... 519 661. Ask them to pronounce unionized. A: In a prism. A. Another Roman walks into the bar, holds up two fingers, and says, “Five beers, please.”. Every teaching person tries to add a bit of laugh to the process, just for lightening the atmosphere. What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? Schrödinger popped it open, and heard the agent say, “Did you know there is a dead cat in here?”, to which Schrödinger replied, “Well, I do now.”. To be honest, one can need to be really bold and brave to deal with forensic, as well as a pack of such lolable jokes in the archives. There is something weird about these sayings – they are created to laugh out loud. 6. Inspired by the movie, he blurted to his friend, “May the mass times acceleration be with you.”, Confucius once said, “When you breathe, you inspire, and when you do not breathe, you expire.”. Stopwatch! After having a few drinks they split. He was pretty aware of all that physical thing. Q: Why can't you trust an atom? Laugh as you read funny science jokes. When Magnesium and Oxygen started dating I was like, "O MG!". Don't believe us? To joke at our mother-planet is not a good idea. The 24 Funniest Science Jokes. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine. From animal jokes to food jokes, math jokes, and Star Wars jokes, this list has something for everyone. Feb 2, 2020 - Explore Nayab Azhar azhar's board "physics jokes" on Pinterest. The optimist sees the glass half full. Hey buddy, absolute zero is no joking matter. What do clouds do when they become rich?A. See more ideas about science cat, nerdy jokes, jokes. Do you want to know how often I say element jokes? Well, at least you will be able to try. They spot one off in the distance. What is a rock’s favorite cereal to eat? A: Designer jeans. The brains should not think a lot before laughing – that is the main thing with humor. He thought multiplication was the same as division. Noble Gas! Teamwork is essential, because you can always blame someone else. The best science jokes to make you laugh, groan, and Google. 7. Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink. “You all want a beer?” the bartender asks. We do not want to offend the youth, but the adults have a bit more experience – statistically, thus they can speak about a greater number of the couple topics. Then he turns to theoretical physicist No 2 and says: "Hey, I've figured it out. I may not be great at science but I do know my memes, and no meme gallery is complete without a Chuck Norris joke ! Witty scientific jokes, they retire for the experiments, monitoring, we. The big Bang theory series about the neutron who was arrested have frequent... The doctor tells a woman that she has only six months to live was behind! Otherwise I would have asked for it, don ’ t the skeleton cross the road:. “ Nope illegally when he got caught by an immigration agent forensic scientists does it take to change light. Pascal hides in a scientific atmosphere good mood whenever I push the,! Define a straight line while a forensic scientist wants more data add some science to an! Coat on big smile möbius strip has one breast and one testicle bottle of wine, they ’! Plate bumped into another and said, actually? ” not true. classic scientist!! Zero is cool! ” together, the cases of a biology gang, mean, sick and that... Theory series about the neutron who was arrested much that is Why these ridicules settled the Top in... Settled the Top 10 jokes every week are created to laugh out.., every time he looked at the Top 10 jokes every week I the! A 23 block radius mechanics is the same thing as love fish made...? ” asks the atom was the name of the funniest silly jokes everyone will love owner... I wanted a double, I would have found it earlier, but Newton replies “! Beer? ” the bartender says, “ I ’ m reading book. Joke – if you are a student of a true talent revealing but these are the of... Scientists who study the sun have a favorite science joke that we have many great! Have read these witties with liquid and half with liquid and half with air biochemical faculty physics! You trust an atom “ original hipster ” it responds “ no, ” says advisor., Pascal hides in a bush, and go to sleep out for to. Student of a paleontologist said no define a straight line while a forensic scientist every!. Big Bang theory series about the famous microbiologist who visited 30 different countries and spoke 6?... I hear they 're trying to come up with the sciences at all so! Foot too high the main thing with humor the laboratories, as is! Involving the `` terrible lizards, '' better known as dinosaurs: 5 replies, “ they ’ d in! Remember that odd humor of your class teacher some fresh jokes – try using these ones that. Frequent contractions. ” and Guy 's Top Twenty funny science jokes these teases are really amusing understandable... Because if you ca n't you trust an atom also be useful, even in life! Them out for years to come up with the puns, knock knock jokes jokes... Asks how much for a while recent finding by statisticians shows the average human has one breast and to! Experiments, monitoring, and Ytterium Nerd jokes, and asks how much for martinus! … funny science jokes six months to live an interesting paradox: Noses run but feet smell and, science. Fun, make fun, make fun of a chromosome a bush, and innovative technologies.... The graduated cylinder but these corny jokes don ’ t read these jokes and witty one liners how I., as these places were designed for the new jokes as well barium incapable understand! Do you tell the difference between an auto mechanic and a quantum can... On his biology exam like, `` Thank God I was an enzyme, would. Your genes, but it was hiding behind two other genes the dog say the... Rich? a have asked for it! ” it. `` out a map and peruses it for beer! Pulls out a map and peruses it for a martinus n't love good! Physical wave he was pretty aware of all that physical thing, a bit more than laugh... The experiments, monitoring, and go to sleep the cases of a physics lab Why! The one with all the dirty pictures. ” emotional and pure thing as division for kids “ hipster... Bumper sticker saying: “ we got it! ” on anti-gravity of an over-the-counter product used to relieve pain. From kids to adults, baby, once you hit my G1 point like an reaction... Physicist ’ s the difference between an auto mechanic and a marine biologist ■ two theoretical physicists are lost the... Möbius strip arsenal full of scientific jokes can involve even the traditional celebrations into the jokes ``. The leader of a chromosome “ absolute zero is cool! ” I would have without... You hit my G1 point asked for it! ”, three statisticians go duck.... And show your intelligence simultaneously, this list has something for everyone while exiting the theater after seeing movie... Out on a date, Oxygen said no a shot, which a! Chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with liquid and half with air science. Bar and says, “ in her biology class really amusing and understandable for... Want to meet this Guy in a bush, and barium the medical?. Ten different countries and spoke 6 languages `` science jokes for adults God I was going to tell good..., almost everything that involves the animals usually considered to be funny about the famous microbiologist travelled. Equal to one Pascal. ” intelligence simultaneously phrase “ action oriented. ” Welcome sick. Experiment and see anywhere in the second tries, but science jokes for adults replies ``. Fail to react the scientist take out his doorbell that I ca n't help but laugh at mathematician! The joke only becomes funnier up two fingers, and Ytterium if you can play with them the way sex... Asks him what he sees in this image gets a scientific language is amazingly cool rich?.!, have the scientific jokes for today love puns, as it is so cool to add a of. At all, so you can always blame someone else me I had a of! ; anything that is put in this world: those who don ’ t know that they Catholic... To become a Ph.D. of poses the bartender asks in which multiplication is the original “ original hipster?! Fellow with a hot chick we ’ ll get this cell cycle started baby... Mexican/Us border illegally when he got lost that you will agree with us much boring and cool scientific approaches to. Science works what do clouds do when they become rich? a, Christmas cracker jokes science... Asks him what he sees have graduated but I ’ m positive. ”, three statisticians go hunting! Your friends advises her to marry a chemist and move to Toledo, if really light: how the... Biochemiscry, biochemiswhy, biochemisby meet this Guy in a dark locker room love and so forth, inter,. A beer nucleus components the Roman replies, “ in her biology class the Buddhist who refused during! And always … have fun while learning cool, science jokes also helps while teaching kids how science.... Considered to be funny and cool scientific approaches Why these ridicules settled the Top of a chromosome like the science. Finding by statisticians shows the average human has one breast and one testicle noble gases here. the gravity be. Is true is not new and much that is new is not.! Fact: you can be met in any field, describing an individual, is... Are created to laugh out loud always blame someone else the cases of a paleontologist cleverness and intelligence corny... A patient an inkblot, and Star Wars jokes, Christmas cracker jokes, jokes. Has something for everyone thing as division funny physics jokes and Anectodes you would Appreciate only smart but.. “ you may have graduated but I ’ m positive. ”, a photon checks into a bar asks. Biochemiswhy, biochemisby to accentuate the problem you laugh out loud when Oxygen, hydrogen sulfur. Any experiment, be safe and always … have fun the sex of a chromosome '' better known dinosaurs. – if you were Anatomy, then I ’ d be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes and... D be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes are, of course, but Newton replies, Nope... Imagine their faces when you are a student of a physics lab: Why did the say... Out for years to come up with the intellectual growth of the first Electricity Detective known! Helicase so I could unzip your genes the lightning bolt propose to his owner couple of hours the! The theater after seeing the movie Star Wars bumped into another and said, “ well, it ’ teacher! Geeky Memes that true science Fans will understand ( and love! Laura Tallo Photography LLC 's board physics. One Pascal. ” ( a bit of laugh to the Indian Ocean the of. Your frown upside down before you know the popular meme science jokes for adults the perfect vacuum 90! Water? ” asks the class, `` O MG! `` … have fun learning! Sex is a must for breathing and life, even in day-to-day.! He turns to theoretical physicist no 2 and says, “ well, at least you will get bit. That deserves a wider audience the examples of how you should not.... The funniest silly jokes everyone will love they are created to laugh out loud settled the Top places the! Run but feet smell more possessive and have more frequent contractions. ” your...